Help Men In An Abusive Relationship To Be Happy And Safe

Abuse does not always have to be physical, it can be emotional, verbal, financial, and psychological too. 

It is also not the case that it only happens with women, it happens with men too. However, the fact that all this is happening with a man makes it even more complicated and hard for him to approach for help.
 
Tell them: Dear Man, I understand you! 

Men are often unseen sufferers of relationship abuse. Whenever we think about an abusive relationship, we often default to the impression of a woman as the victim and the man as a culprit. Seldom do we imagine men as the wounded. 

The fact that men are physically stronger than women makes them less likely to be vulnerable to physical abuse. Due to the strength differences between men and women, women assort to psychological and emotional abuse.

• Types of abuse men face in day to day life
  Abuse of men by their spouse/partners ensues when the partner uses emotional, physical, sexual, or intimidation maneuvers. 
• She does it to get control over the man, get her way, and also avert him from parting the relationship. 
• This is a true example of an unhealthy and abusive relationship. 
• The abuse could include putdowns, controlling finances
• This results in isolating her partner and most importantly limiting his freedom of meeting or talking to his friends and family. 
• Destroying property, threatening, stalking or harassment are also some examples of abuse.

Here are some tips on how you could help your friend or relative if you suspect that he is in an abusive relationship.

1. Knowing about the abuse

The first you must take is making him understand if that is abuse. Increase their awareness and understanding about it and give him time to cope with it. 

It’s okay if he does not understand or does not want to talk about it. If he looks as if he is in denial, give him time as well as all the information you can about abuse in intimate relationships.
 
2. Finding the right words to open the door for conversation. 

Here are some samples of things that may be helpful to them:

“I don’t know what’s going on with you at home, but I just want you to know that it isn’t all your fault, no matter what someone might be trying to tell you.”

“I know you spend a large amount of time trying to second guess and guard what your partner needs. How are you doing?”

 “Here are some things that I see and hear, that say you are dealing with power and control tactics from your partner.”

“I know it can take a long time to work out what to do, but I can tell you that you do not deserve to be abused.”

Do this softly and without any judgments. Tell them that you are worried about their safety. Listen, believe them, and say: “It’s nowhere your fault.” “I’m sorry this is happening to you.” “I know it’s complicated.” “You don’t deserve this.” “This doesn’t change how I feel about you.” 

Be safe, we know you want him to be happy and safe